Thursday, September 23, 2004

Lucas, Amazon, and The Trilogy

September 23, 2004 - Thursday

Lucas, Amazon, and The Trilogy

My name is Eric. And I am a Star Wars Geek.

Needless to say I got my trilogy today. What, you say? Why not Tuesday? Because, you neophyte, I'm a geek - not a dupe. Why should I stand in line overnight at Best Buy just so I can get my copy at midnight on Tuesday morning for $70 when I can, in the space of a few minutes during my lunch break (hah, yeah right!) at work log onto, click here-click-there and order my own copy for $41.99? All props to Amazon for shipping it in two days with free shipping (hey uber-geeks: no sales tax! Mwahahhahaha!)

The sad part of this tale is I did spend several long minutes debating - thanks to Amazon's 4-image format - which "version" of the box to buy. They gave the impression that there were 2 versions (and knowing George that wouldn't have surprised me, more on that later) - one with Vader on the cover, and one with the classic Luke/Leia/Han pose. Not to mention a gold fullscreen and a silver widescreen.

Of course, I chose the Vader version. As it happens, the two sides of the box have both Vader and the trio. Dammit.

Even sadder, I'm going to my local rent-a-center and price the rental of a 51-inch digital tv. Just so I can watch three movies I've seen a billion times. Why?

Because having waited so damned long for this, even foregoing the VHS version because I KNEW a dvd edition had to be coming soon, I want to see it in all its shining, THX mastered, digital glory. I want to jump at the sounds, I want to see every bolt on R2's shell, I want to be able to count the sands of the Tattooine desert if I have to!

Okay I really just want to recapture some of that old magic I felt when I first saw the movies, and the only way that can happen is by seeing it on some semblance of a big screen.

Lucas, you bastard - if you screwed this version up in any way I'll fly all the way to your Skywalker Ranch, shove a lit lightsaber up your sorry behind and shove these dvds down your sellout throat! I'm giving him some credit for correcting his last mistake - "fixing" the VHS versions so that Han Solo fires at Greedo ONLY after Greedo fires first, which (for those older and wiser of us) we know is a blatant Republican-esque spin story. Han shot first!

As I hear it, however, he decided to waffle (Dubya, are you taking notes?) and compromised - this version has them shooting simultaneously, with Greedo missing his shot.

I'm not even going to break the plastic seal on the box until I get the TV in. 34" just won't cut it. Not for this.

May the Force be with you.