Monday, June 15, 2009

Get the Point?

I realize, as a society of caring adults, we occasionaly will come up with ideas that we deem "innovative" in the name of social responsibility and public safety. However, there are times when we break through the second wall, and enter a realm which shall be heretofore known as Absolute Stupidity.

Across the great pond, a British designer has come up with a kitchen knife designed to "make it more difficult to stab someone", because as we know most stabbings take place in the average household kitchen.

The knife has a rounded edge instead of a sharp one, with a little hook/groove designed to SNAG ON CLOTHING OR SKIN, making it that much harder to penetrate.

More interestingly was this little tidbit from the designer, John Cornock:

“It can never be a totally safe knife, but the idea is you can’t inflict a fatal wound. Nobody could just grab one out of the kitchen drawer and kill someone”, and "will reduce the risk of accidental injuries."

Just. Can't. Inflict. A. Fatal. Wound.

John. Johnny boy. Jim-bo. Unless this magic blade of yours is blunted like a butter knife...what's to stop me from taking your wonderful invention and just slicing across someone's neck like it's a head of cabbage?

It's a fucking knife, you English twit. It's SHARP. Reduce the risk of accidental injuries? Have you ever actually cooked in a kitchen? Who the FUCK cuts themselves accidently with the pointed tip? The only "accidental" injuries I've ever had, or seen, are done with...wait for it...

The goddamned BLADE.

Jeezus H. Christ, this is such an incredibly dumb concept that it'll probably make this fool millions.

Understand, I'm not knocking the rounded tip; it actually makes more of a design sense, and I can see the safety of it. But the little hook, to prevent it going in deeper? Come on...just SAYING that, makes me want to test it! I can see hundreds of psychopaths right now, rushing out to buy this gadget just to prove this fool wrong!

I can see the note left for the police now:

"Tell Cornack I said to go back to the drawing board. Keeps a nice edge, tho'."

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