WARNING: The surgeon general has determined that reading this post may cause a severe shock to your sense of humor. If you have a weak or deficient sense of humor, you should avoid reading this at all costs. Really. I mean it.
In honor of May Day, also known as International Workers Day, I'm doing my part to show solidarity with the immigrant workers here in the U.S. who have chosen today to hold demonstrations against current (or potential) U.S. immigration laws. So without further ado, my ode to the International Workers:
Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.
Q: Did you hear about the Italian-American who emigrated to Poland?
A: He raised the IQ of both countries.
Q: What's two miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Saint Patrick's Day Parade.
Q: Why are camels called "Ships of the Desert"?
A: Because they're full of Muslim semen.
Q: What's the difference between a bowling-ball and a West Indian girl?
A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling-ball.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Puerto Rican and a Chinaman?
A: A car thief who can't drive.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus?
A: No idea; but it can sure pick lettuce.
Did you hear about the Polish library that burned down?
It's okay... they saved the book
And finally, just because I like this one:
A little black boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He looks at his mom and says, "Mom, look, I'm a white boy!"
His mom slaps him in the kisser and says, "Go show your father!"
He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look dad, I'm a white boy!" His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your Grandmother!"
The boy goes in his grandmother's room and says, "Look granny, I'm a white boy!" His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother.
His mother says "See. Did you learn anything from that?!"
The boy replies, "Sure enough did. I've only been white for 5 minutes and I already hate you black people!"