Wii or 3?

Oh, the decisions!!

Unless you're living in a geekless environment, you're probably aware - even vaguely - that the Console Wars have started anew. Microsoft fired it's salvo a year ago with the XBox 360, gaining serious market share. Now it's Sony and Nintendo's turn, and in true competitive spirit they're both releasing their new consoles - the Playstation 3, and the Wii - within days of each other.

But which to get?

I'm not an XBox fan, never was. I'm not impressed overmuch with the 360, so I avoided it in favor of waiting on the PS3. Then I heard about Nintendo's console, the formerly named Revolution - now the Wii - and it gave me reason to pause.

The PS3 is a monster in mechanics. First generation Blu Ray disc player, supercomputer-comparable Cell microprocessor, online and wifi capabilities...it's the juggernaught, waiting for its chance to blow out the competition. Despite production problems and a hefty price tag - $600 - it's the giant on the field, looming over the competition and ready to smother the XBox legions at the first opportunity.

Then there's the quiet little Wii, with it's motion-sensing wireless controller and emphasis on functionality and fun, rather than mind-boggling graphics and animation. It comes down to that one word: fun. The Wii looks...fun. It's a crowd pleaser, a party game where a mixed group can get together and have a blast. And I'm intrigued.

Plus it's relatively miniscule price tag of $250 has me stopping to go "hmmm..."

At the Sony Store here in New York, a guy camped out in front of it's doors this past Monday and hasn't left. The PS3 console releases tomorrow, Friday the 17th; he's the first in line, and there are - right now - 350 people behind him. Waiting for tomorrow morning when the Sony doors open, so they can be among the first (and, with the limited production, perhaps only) owners of a PS3 this holiday season.

I'm not planning on joining them.

I haven't looked to see if there's a line at a particular store near my home, but I've looked up their inventory online and I know this store has 120 Nintendo Wii in stock. If I'm going to join the Console Wars, this will likely be my battleground.

Provided I can even get my hands on a weapon, of course.

Wish me luck.

Lost in TiVo Land

I'm sorry, but I just do not get the whole TiVo thing.

Obviously that makes me a dinosaur. Or maybe the little girl from the Emperor's New Clothes, who - no matter now hard she looked - just couldn't see what the big fuss was about.

Seriously, was using a VCR that hard? Did I need a computer to guess what I want to see? Do I really need to record a whole season of American Idol...since logic dictates that if I didn't have time to watch the episodes during the season, I probably still don't have time to watch them now.

Some will argue that the quality over VCRs is significant. Digital, baby, it's a new revolution! It's hard to argue with this. Except...most people don't have HD televisions yet. And frankly, do you really need to watch The Flavor of Love in digital quality picture?

But do you want to know what really gets me about the whole TiVo thing?

You pay for it. Bloody hell, you twits are paying someone so you can record your shows. Are you kidding me?! You pay $12.95 a month so that someone will record all your shows for you, when I paid $3.49 for an 8-hr VHS tape 3 years ago that I'm still recording over.

Oh. And Tivo prices are going up. $19.95 a month, unless you pay for a year or three in advance.

Do you really watch THAT much television, and yet have SO LITTLE time to sit down and watch all of these shows that you claim to be addicted to...that you're willing to pay a monthly fee so that a machine can record it for you?

In this age of recordable, rewritable discs...someone has suckered the world into buying their product that will record things for you. For a fee.

Here's a thought. Maybe...just MAYBE...if all the TiVo tool-heads hadn't bought the product, but instead held out for...oh, I don't know, a RECORDABLE DISC PLAYER...you wouldn't be paying these outrageous fees.

Then again, as P.T. Barnum might have said: There's a TiVo customer born every minute.

Elmos Off the Back Of A Truck?

The world has gone to hell. And I'm not certain if I'm referencing the crooks or the retailer who got ripped off.

Apparently a shipment of the latest got-to-have-it toy, Elmo THX (what happened to Elmo Dolby Surround Sound?), has been hijacked. Toynapped. Whatever. It was on it's way to a Wal-Mart in Arksansas on OCTOBER 31st (!) when the shipment of 100 little fuzzy muppets vanished into thin air. Poof. Or giggle-poof.

Now...let's put aside the whole Children of the Corn imagery this invokes, and stick to the story at hand. Because this gets interesting.

Wal-Mart says it will do "anything" to ensure that these Elmos are returned to their shelves in time for the Christmas rush (suddenly I'm picturing Mel Gibson in "Ransom", and have offered a trip to a comedy club in New York as a reward for the shipment's return.

A comedy club. In New York.

These ridiculous Elmo dolls are selling on eBay, right now, for an average of about $100 each. That's a potential return of about $10,000 for the criminals.

Compared to a free entry at a comedy club in New York.

I'm thinking, Wal-Mart doesn't really want them back but has to go through the motions just to make themselves look good. There's some Wal-exec's daughter right now, up to her armpits in red fuzz surround by giggles.

Post-Hallow's

The old grey horse just ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be...

I finished off my Hallow's celebration by walking in NYC's Greenwich Village Halloweeen Parade. It's something I haven't done in ages, and looked forward to doing. You feel like you're part of something, like there's this big party happening all around you and instead of standing on the sidelines, watching - you're in it, part of the show, one of the entertainers that others stood packed together like sardines just to catch a glimpse of.

I was...surprised, I guess, to see the number of people walking who either a) didn't bother putting any thought into a costume and threw something together out of their close, or b) didn't bother to wear one at all. It felt more like a mob who wanted the thrill of being in the parade, without actually contributing to it. I hate to say it, but it sort of cheapened the experience for me. Too bad.

Still, it was Halloween and it would have taken a presidential act of war to dampen my spirits completely. I was out with friends and having a good time, and ultimately that's all that mattered. I shared a hug and a laugh with complete strangers on every block; it was that mardi-gras, new years eve feeling where everyone is everyone else's best friend. It was great.

There's a note I wanted to share with you all; an artist who draws an online comic that I'm a big fan of (PvP) by the name of Scott Kurtz wrote a comment about Hallow'een that touches one of the things I feel strongly about the holiday myself. Read, and see if you agree.

If you think about it, Halloween can be a very benficial holiday.

The importance of Halloween is that we spend it facing fears. We take the things that normally make us afraid, and we embrace them. We dress up as them, we purpousely force ourselves into frightening situations. We do this for fun, but more importanly, we do it to take away some of its power.

In this day and age, I think that concept is more important than ever. It seems that lately, everyone is trying to manipulate us with fear tactics and mongering. The government, the media, special intrest groups, religious groups, secular groups. Fear mongering is the new black.

I hope that everyone had a great halloween and that you all take a moment to embrace the spirit (no pun intended) of the holiday. Try to make yourself immune to all this fear mongering and hopefully we can return to a nation of pragmatic thinking sometime soon.

Happy All Hallows, 2006!

Make A Difference Day

Apparently this past Sunday, October 29th was Make a Difference Day, a day for anyone to carry out a volunteer project that helps others. I was completely oblivious to this fact, ironically because I was volunteering in my neighborhood. Now, I don't know if it made a difference - but I had a good time, and hope I helped a bunch of kids enjoy their halloween.

The locals here have an annual hallows celebration in a small park, about a block away from my house. This year they decided to team up with the Parks Department and have a bigger celebration in the bigger park, which is about 3 blocks away. It's right by the Hudson River, there's a nature center, natural woods, fields...you get the drift.

Except.

The Parks Department decided, last minute on Friday, to pull out. And reject the group's idea of having pony rides, because they didn't want horses in the park. And because of high winds, eliminate the giant slide and the inflatable "bounce house".

So what did that leave? An arts and crafts tent, face painting tables, and a field set aside for children's games.

Guess who was put in charge of overseeing the children's game field? Which now became the main attraction for the event?

Needless to say it was a challenge, trying to find ways to entertain all of these kids of varying ages, to their parents satisfaction. After all, if I'd brought my kids out in this chilly wind, someone had damn well better be trying to entertain them to the best of their ability!

Unfortunately, the game organizer hadn't planned on being the main showcase and didn't exactly have a full plate of games, so yours truly became an impromptu MC and games master for a few hours. I'd like to believe the kids had a lot of fun; I defintely tried my best with what I had, mot of it ad-libbed on the spot.

There was just something incredibly satisfying about entertaining these kids. Seeing them all dressed up in their costumes; the ninja mock-sword fighting with the pirate, the cowboy drawing his pistol against me and my flintlock. I would have liked to see more volunteers dressed up in costume, getting into the spirit; it is Halloween, after all.

But still. It was fun, and the look of happiness on those kids faces was worth the cold and wind.

Happy Halloween to all, and to all a spooky night!

But Will It Sell in Pakistan?

Just in time for that most-evil of holidays, Halloween, comes this little mp3 player from our friends in Russia: the Saint mp3 player.

Perfect for listening to those Catholic podcast sermons on, the Saint is, unfortunately, only a concept player. Still, every would-be Goth on the planet would die (pun intended) to get their hands on this little black-enameled beauty as the ideal wardrobe accessory.

Still, it only has a limited sales ability; once you get past the death-heads, the satantics, and (once the Pearly White model comes out) the Christians...you're sort of stuck in terms of your market choices. Where do you go from here? Take a cue from McDonalds, who were smart enough to offer local cuisine choices on their international menus. Go global, religiously! The six-pointed Star of David is an ideal choice for that niche Israeli market, and a crescent moon shape will not only get you the Muslims, but you'll win over the wiccan/druid crowd as well!

Of course, the only real problem is that none of these models will ever be able to communicate with each other and share files.

Normal On Halloween? Perish the Thought!

Every so often, I run through Craigslist postings under activities and events, looking for something interesting to do. This time, however, my eye was caught by the following ad:

I’ve always found Halloween to be an overrated event, although I’ve done my share of dressing up and all that silly stuff. So, instead of going with my friends to parties or to the parade, I just want to do something normal, something ordinary, something un-halloween on Halloween night. How about just a nice dinner (sushi is perennial favorite), hanging out at a jazz club afterwards, or just relaxing at a café and have a good chat. I wonder if there’s anyone else out there who share my sentiments.

I'd planned on ranting about my usual "Halloween is the Red Headed Stepchild" complaint, but this really got me boiling. Overrated? Why? Because the stick up your ass seems to get in the way of your partying? Silly stuff?

Here's the thing. If you don't like Halloween...fine. Stay home. Go out to eat. Or not. But do me a favor, would you? Shut the hell up, and let the rest of us have our fun. I'm not a Christian, but do you see me complaining about all the religous motifs during the winter Yule holidays? No!

Halloween has always been one of the big holidays for me, for as long as I can remember. As a child growing up, my grandparents would throw a halloween party for all of the grandkids, and then our aunts would take us trick-or-treating in the neighborhood. Growing up in the projects of the south Bronx, you'd think this would be a problem; it wasn't. If people chose not to open their doors and see our made-up happy faces, screw them - we'd keep on knocking until we found someone who did.

As I got older, I evolved from candy-begging treater to chaperone, taking out my younger sisters and cousins on the same routes I'd walked each year, pointing out the dangers and things to avoid, what candies to throw away and which were safe to eat. I'd show them which stores in the neighborhood were the most generous, which gave old candy and which handed out silver coins that jingled in our bags with every bouncing step we took.

Halloween was fun, it was one of three times a year when a kid could be allowed to be as childish as they wanted to be: their birthday, Christmas...and Halloween.

As I got even older, I never lost that feeling of excitement as the holiday approached. It became a time when, as an adult, you could once again experience the innocent glee of being a kid again. You could shrug off the mantle of reponsibility, adulthood, of your job and problems and bills and whatever else hung heavy on your shoulders - and have fun. You could put on a mask and suddenly you were transformed, changed into anything imaginable! You could be the princess, the knight in shining armor, the superhero, the scary monster, the fireman! Your passive, shy personality could be hidden behind a gaudy, sparkle-encrusted mask and for one day - one day in an entire year - you could be the life of the party, the center of attention, the one everyone laughs with and has a good time talking to.

It's Halloween! You can be sexy, nerdy, scary, dashing, kooky, creepy, sultry, childish, adventurous...your only limits are your own imagination. This is a night for masks, but it's also a night to let that inner child out to play. It's a night of transformation, of metamorphasis; it's a chance to be something you've always dreamed of being, but never had the courage. Or the opportunity.

One night a year, and you can be anything you want to be.

Why, pray tell, would I choose to be normal on a night like this?

The Madden Curse

I'm not what you call a fan of the urban legend - those stories of potential doom or luck that inevitably find their way into my mailbox, often forwarded by well-intentioned but misguided and gullible friends.

However, every so often something comes along that just makes you sit back and go "hmmm..."

The Madden Curse, for those of you among the uninitiated, is an urban legend based on the popular line of sports video games put out by EA Sports, Madden Football, named after former Oakland Raiders head coach and current TV football analyst John Madden. First produced in 1989 as John Madden Football, the video game has been known as Madden NFL since its developers signed a licensing deal with the NFL in 1993, and new versions are released annually to incorporate new and improved features and rosters based on current NFL players. For the first eleven years the game's packaging featured the smiling visage of John Madden; starting with the 2001 version and continuing for the last seven years, the box front has presented an action graphic of a selected NFL star. Each version of the game is dated according to the year-to-come; Madden NFL 2007, for example, comes out in 2006 for the '06-'07 season.

According to a superstition based upon a pattern occurring over the last several years, whichever player signs a deal to appear on the cover of the next version of Madden NFL will suffer a serious injury (or some other stroke of bad luck), resulting in a disappointing performance during the forthcoming NFL season.

Now, I know you're all ready to call total bullshit on this one; so was I. Then I did some reading, and the facts are spooky:

2000: The 2000 edition of Madden NFL was a gentle easing-in to the curse. This was the last edition of the game to feature a photograph of John Madden on the front of the box (as all previous editions had done), but it also included a background picture of the Detroit Lions' star running back (and future NFL Hall of Famer) Barry Sanders. As events turned out, Sanders didn't play a single down during the 1999-2000 season (or ever again), shocking the Lions by abruptly announcing his retirement and ending his ten-year career just before the start of training camp that summer.

Since Barry Sanders quit well before the start of the 1999 regular season, EA Sports had enough time to substitute a different graphic on the packaging of later shipments of Madden NFL 2000. The newer covers replaced the Madden/Sanders combination with a picture of Green Bay Packers running back Dorsey Levens, who spearheaded a Packers team that had just played in three straight NFC Championship Games and back-to-back Super Bowls. Although Levens performed reasonably well in 1999, he was bothered by a bad knee that he had re-injured the previous year, and Green Bay finished out of the playoff picture with a so-so 8-8 record. Levens was used only in a reserve role after that, and the Packers released him at the end of the 2001 season.

2001: The 2001 cover of Madden NFL featured Tennessee Titans running back Eddie George, who the previous year had led his team to the Super Bowl (where they came up just short against the St. Louis Rams). Although George enjoyed his best season ever (in terms of yards gained rushing and touchdowns scored) in 2000, he bobbled a pass (that was subsequently intercepted and returned for a touchdown) in the Titans' season-ending Divisional Playoff loss to the Baltimore Ravens, and the following season, hampered by injuries, he saw his rushing average sink to an all-time low.

2002: The 2002 cover of Madden NFL featured Minnesota Vikings quarterback Daunte Culpepper, who the previous year had made an impressive NFL debut in taking his team to the NFC Championship Game (which they lost to the New York Giants). In 2001, however, the Vikings struggled to a disappointing 4-7 record before Culpepper suffered a knee injury and missed the last five games of the year (while Minnesota finished the season a dismal 5-11).

2003: The 2003 cover of Madden NFL featured St. Louis Rams running back Marshall Faulk, whose rushing and receiving prowess had led his team to the Super Bowl twice in the previous three years. But Faulk was plagued by an injured ankle during the 2002 season, his yards gained rushing total dropped under the 1,000 mark (after four straight seasons of 1300+ yards), and the Rams missed the playoffs with a disappointing 7-9 record.

2004: The 2004 cover of Madden NFL featured Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, who in 2002 (his first season as a starter) took a team with a dismal 16-32 record over the previous three years and led them to a respectable 9-6-1 finish and a spot in the NFL playoffs as a Wild Card entry. In 2003, though, Vick suffered a fractured right fibula in a pre-season game one day after Madden NFL 2004 hit store shelves; he played in only five games that year as the Falcons sank to a lowly 5-11 record.

2005: The 2005 cover of Madden NFL featured Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis, who had recorded a career-high six interceptions in 2003 as his team reached the post-season for the third time in four years. But in 2004, Lewis failed (for the only time in his NFL career) to record even a single interception and sat out the final game of the season with an injury as the Ravens just missed qualifying for the playoffs at 9-7, and in 2005 he suffered a torn right hamstring in Baltimore's sixth game and missed the rest of the season as the Ravens dropped to 6-10.

2006: The 2006 cover of Madden NFL featured Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb, under whom the Eagles had amassed a superb 59-21 regular season record and made five straight playoff appearances in the previous five years, the last of which culminated in an NFC Championship and a Super Bowl match-up against the New England Patriots (which Philadelphia lost by three points). After he was selected for the 2006 Madden NFL cover, McNabb flouted the curse by saying that the injuries associated with it "might be a trend, but I don't believe in the curse at all." True to form, McNabb suffered a sports hernia in the first game of the 2005 season. He played on for another eight games despite the painful injury, but after being re-injured in a contest against the Dallas Cowboys, he finally opted for surgery and missed the final seven games of the season as the Eagles finished last in the NFC East.

2007: The 2007 cover of Madden NFL featured the Seattle Seahawks' star running back Shaun Alexander, whose 5.1 yards per carry rushing average in 2005 spurred the Seahawks to their best season ever and their first Super Bowl appearance. Three weeks into the 2006 season, Alexander broke his left foot in a game against the New York Giants.

Now, I'm not saying you should believe this stuff...but if I were you, I wouldn't start signing any merchandising contracts with EA Sports any time soon. 'Knamean?

What Would It Cost To Bathe In It?

We GOTS to get our H2O on, baby!


Yes, true believers, seeing is in fact believing. This is good old fashioned Aqua. With bling.

Bling H2O comes in 750ml frosted bottles studded with sparkling Swarovski crystals. The bling water was earlier meant just for Hollywood celebs and hi-fi socialite circle, but now you can gulp it down all for £30. That's $56 dollars US, for us rubes living on The Continent. A friggin' fiddy-dollar bottle of water; and you thought Perrier was expensive, back in the day?

And to those of you who think, "oh, I'd spring the cash just to try it!" - first, hold on while I get the smelly fish I'm going to slap you silly with. Second: you'd still be just a poser, unless you had the ducats like Paris Hilton does. Cuz money to her is so secondary, the beeyotch poured a glass of this stuff in her dog's drinking bowl. Yeah, that's right - her dog.

It's so sad. You're paying for the bottle, not even for the water.

Which means it might pay off working as a busboy at the next celeb-filled gala. Suddenly recycling used bottles becomes a lucrative business.

Is That a Joystick In Your Pants, Or...

Yes, true believers, the ultimate fantasy has come true. Underwear that will let men finally have complete and utter (udder?) control (hah!) over that one portion of the female anatomy that most guys (yours truly excepted, of course) seem to have problems understanding.

Nintendo panties, with a built in controller. Talk about learning to push all the right buttons! I can hear her know. "More to the left..to the left...now RIGHT-RIGHT-LEFT-LEFT-circle-circle-circle!!!"

On the positive side, fellahs, when you need to take a break you can just hit that pause button, go grab yourself something to eat, take a nap, and come back fully refreshed!

Be careful, however, if you're one of those "button mashers" who don't know what they're doing and just keep hitting buttons until something works. They might bruise easily.

Don't forget those nights when she's "got a headache". A quick press of the start button and it's Game On, baby!

Let's just hope the first game you play isn't in the Mushroom Kingdom, kneamean?!

And no, Virginia, the buttons don't really work. Sheesh.

Like Little Kids The Week Before Xmas

Boy, some of you RL people are way too over anxious hahah! I've gotten a few comments wondering what, exactly, my costume is going to be this year. I don't think it's a big deal, although in years past I have gone over the top. Except last year, I was lazy :)

But, since friends are asking - who am I to dissuade their curiosity. So, in the interest of friendship, here's a clue:

Hallowed Ground

It's that time of the year again. Time to pull out those dusty old rubber bats to hang from the ceiling, the black tapered candles, the coffin for display in the living room.

Of course, for ME it's been that time of year about...4 months ago. You can never start celebrating too early, I say.

Really, my Halloween celebrations come down to three things: (1) the costume, (2) the venue, and (3) who I spend it with.

I love my friends, each and every one, but there's been a long, hard struggle over the years trying to get them to feel the same joy of Samhain that I do. And it's been a somewhat losing battle, with moments of success here and there.

For me, I think it's because I have such great childhood family memories of Halloween. My grandparents would throw a party at their home every year for all the grandkids, and there were a number of us. We'd have all the traditional stuff - bobbing for apples, a costume contest, music. We'd go trick or treating, and in our neighborhood trick or treating required skill and cunning. We lived in an 11-story project building, so of course we'd hit all the apartments. Then you'd go out to the corner bodegas and collect a few coins, some penny candy - whatever they felt like giving out.

Then...you'd venture out. This is when it got dangerous. We had a shopping area nearby, about...5 blocks away. Third Avenue, in the Bronx, at 149th street. Big shopping strip that stretched from 149th up to 155th. The important part here, you need to understand, is that the stores along this strip would also give out goodies.

The dangerous part? Raiders. I shit you not, there were packs of OLDER kids roaming around who, themselves "too old" to demean themselves by donning a costume and begging for treats, would instead prey on us kidlings and raid our goodie bags. It became a matter of skill to spot these predators and circumnavigate them, yet still make your way to the stores to collect your just rewards.

It was sort of like being Jerry going after the cheese in the fridge, even though Tom was sleeping right outside the door.

Back to the present. I ordered my main costume pieces a few weeks ago - I found a woman who custom made the parts I needed, and I can make the rest myself. So the first part of my Hallowed plans are nearly complete.

Now I just need to find a venue. I'm considering traveling up to Sleepy Hollow, because there is just something awesomely poetic about that, but I also don't intend to be bored of my gourd. It's 3 weeks away, so I've got time.

Once I decide on a venue...well. That would just leave the companions, wouldn't it?

So what're YOU doing for All Hallow's Eve?

Let the Games Begin

What is a game designer?

You ask someone today about it, and they'll invariably lean towards video games. You call yourself a game designer, and people will wonder what console you've designed for.

But ultimately, what is a game designer but someone who, well...designs games? Who outlines the concept, rule book, and game mechanics for a game of any kind?

Board games. Role-playing. Video Games. Live activity games. Card games. Sports games.

Do you think the man who invented baseball would consider himself a game designer? Or the person who invented hopscotch? Marbles?

When I was younger, I'd babysit my sisters and cousins. I'd have to find ways to entertain them, and back then cable wasn't an option. I'd do things like tie bed sheets togther between dressers and bedposts, and make a maze out of it. I'd make scavenger hunts for them, devise traps; I'd invent new things for them to play, together.

When I was older and discovered Dungeons & Dragons (shh!), I couldn't help but wonder to myself: can I make this any better? If I changed these rules, and added these...how does it change the game?

How can I make a game similar, but using an entirely different mechanic?

I've designed video games, on my old Tandy Coco3 (published in Rainbow Magazine!) back in the mid 80s. I've conceptualized role play/dice systems, new video games, online rpgs...

And now here I am, doing it again. I was talking with a friend about my escapades in StreetWars and, of course, found myself thinking:

How can I make this better?

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

I've already written up half of the game rules, and conceptualized the mechanics. And even at this halfway point, I think it's much more involved than the "other guys". It's definitely friendlier. And unquestionably, it'll keep players in the game for most, if not all, the length of the tournament.

I've even written to a particular manufacturer about a tie-in, and I've plans to speak to local businesses about...

Well. Let's not give the farm away, shall we?

The Spy Game. Look for it, in cities near you. If you happen to live near New York City, that is.

StreetWars: Day Four - Bang I'm Dead!

Yeah, he finally got me.

I gotta tell you, it's been exhausting. I was about ready to give up; this city isn't made for this game, or maybe it's the format - but I woke up at 5am this morning planning to go BACK out, again, to stalk my target. I just couldn't do it. I was too tired from lack of sleep, and all I could think was "it just ain't worth it."

I made a half-hearted attempt to stake out her job after work, but after a half hour I just shrugged and said "screw this, i'm going home."

Straight home, no misdirection. I did cut through the long way inside the building, just in case - and there's a woman sitting in my laundromat, reading a book. Waiting. So I shot her. She didn't even have time to pull out the watergun she'd had her hand on, hidden. We laughed...and I was a little disappointed, to tell you the truth.

Well, no worries - turns out the original stalker still hadn't died, and he was ready this time. I think he threw about six water balloons at me, none of which actually hit me but the water splatter was enough to take me out.

Hallelujah!

We laughed, shared some stories while I told him how I avoided him all week. Cool guy, and the girl was kinda cute herself. When we broke apart, I said "I'm glad, it means I can finally get some sleep!" He sympathized.

What's funny is that after today he was also considering giving up; it's just taking up too much time, and to honest we've all got jobs.

I like the concept, I do - but the execution is missing something. If I had the capital, I'd do my own version of the game but make it more...involved.

But I admit, I got a thrill out of it. Will I do it again next year?

Probably not.

StreetWars News Article

For those of you wondering more about the game in general:

Reuters News Article

StreetWars: Day Three - Wasted Morning

I hate this city, sometimes.

6:45am - I've driven to the target's home. My windows are nice and tinted, so I'll look much less obvious standing outside waiting for people leaving the building, squinting in the dawn haze to see if they look vaguely like the primped, posed and cropped photo I've been given of the target's face. Except...there's a problem. The target lives very, very close to a highly protected building in the city, so a) there are cops, EVERYWHERE, and a patrol car seems to be passing by every 60 or so seconds. And b), for a 5-block radius there is a NO STANDING/PARKING zone. From 7am to 7pm. I don't believe this shit.

So, right at 7am on the dot everyone comes out, gets in their cars and drives off. That leaves poor little now-very-conspicuous ME sitting there in my car, thinking that maybe I should move before the cop pulling in behind me decides to give me a ticket.

I'm forced to circle. And circle. This is getting ridiculous, because NOW I look suspicious so I really can't keep doing this. but then:

7:15am - I see someone who COULD be the target. She's really short so that doesn't help, considering all I have is a headshot; they're both blond, but I can't tell how LONG the target's hair is from the photo. The target should be on her way to work, but this woman is dressed like she's going to out with friends on the weekend - camo shorts, hair tied up, running shoes. FUCK!!!

I'm torn whether or not to take the shot, mainly for one reason: I do not want to end up on the 6pm news, "Black Man Shot By Police for Spritzing White Woman". Seriously, I'm paranoid about that shit.

In hindsight, I probably should have taken the shot; I let my own indecision stop me. She was carrying a big giant shoulder bag, large enough to carry work clothes in; I'm sure, now, that it was her. Probably. Staring at her face really would have given the game away, I just wish I'd been given better intel.

But, there is a silver cloud. If in fact that was her, I've got a better image of her now. And I know her schedule. I'm not letting this week go by without taking a shot at her, the other target is going to be too hard to chase down.

I'm expecting my own attacker to lie in wait for me tonight. Too bad he doesn't know I've got plans; I wonder how late he'll stay out there? If I shoot him again, does it count as a kill for me?

StreetWars: Day Two - The Joy Of The Kill

4:40pm - left work early to go after Jane, I figured I'd get to her building and wait for her outside. My logic? If she was in to work by 8 this morning, she's got to be leaving by 5, right? Wrong. I called her at work aroud 5, to see if she was still there. She was. I decided not to hide that I was after her - I want her walking in fear, she'll be easier to spot since i've only got a blurry head shot of her. I called again at 5:30 - nope, still there. I told her I can't wait to see her downstairs, she laughed. 6:15 - still at work, and now I'm starting to feel like I'm annoying her, so I let her off the hook. Slightly.

6:45pm - I'm outside her office building, and dammit if there aren't two separate entrances! There's no way I can stake this place out; plus, if she takes a car service home, there's nothing I can do because she'd still have one foot on the curb until she closes that cab door. Dammit. I've got to get her at home, or not at all.

7:45 - I took the long route home, just in case there was someone waiting for me at one of my train stations. Rush to the bus stop, wait; rush to the bar, wait; cross the street, see who follows. Double back, come to the building a different route.

7:50 - that spidey sense is tingling. There's a suspicious looking guy hunched over on his cell phone, outside my building entrance. I wait behind a car across the street, and when he turns his head the wrong way I bolt into the building and shut the door shut. I'm still feeling uneasy so I take a different route to my apartment, gun ready at the hip and finger on the trigger. I turn the corner - and surprise, there's a would-be assassin - my morning visitor - hunched over, pretending to write me a note. I grin and hose him down, trying not to laugh as he drops his pen, cell phone - and his gun.

That little maneuver just bought me 24 hours of freedom. "Sorry bud, better luck next time" I tell him, calmly going into my apartment while he storms off in frustration.

Not exactly a kill, but somehow...satisfying nonetheless.

Tomorrow, it's ON!

StreetWars: Day Two - Morning Visitor

6:25am - god help me, I'm awake. What the hell is wrong with me? I wouldn't get up this early for my own funeral. But...I'm up, because I'm determined to make a kill.

7:00am - I've got the security channel on while I'm ironing, and there's a visitor. Dark hair, blue shirt, slacks, messenger bag slung over his shoulder. A poor little lost soul, with his face pressed against the glass of the inner door. Obviously lost, obviously trying to figure out how to get inside. He starts looking over the intercoms, wondering if he should push a button to get inside. I start to panic, just a little; I'm not ready to leave, and if he gets inside I'll get held up trying to stop him from shooting me. A minute later, he leaves. Lucky for me, two minutes after he leaves, someone else leaves the building. I'm gone ten minutes later.

8:00am - I'm outside Jane Eastside's apartment building. My strategy was to wait her out by standing at the bus stop just up the block from her, where I can watch the building and see if she approaches.

8:15am - The bus comes and goes, so I hit up a pay phone to call her job. A woman answers, but only answers with the company name - not her own. Dammit. I ask for a generic name, she tells me I have the wrong extension, I apologize and we hang up. No harm, no foul. If that was her, she's already at work - which means I'll need to get up a lot earlier. I decide that maybe it'll be better to stake out her job, rather than her house; it'll give me more time to sleep, and it's easier for me to get to the west side than it is the east. I took her bus west, so I can at least time her commute to work.

I'm actually surprised I haven't gotten a phone call from my mystery caller this morning, and it's 9:45am. I'm almost disappointed. If that was, in fact, my stalker then I really don't feel like I've got a lot to worry about this week. No staying power. Why come all the way uptown like that if you're not going to even try to stick around and see if I'm there? I walked to work after my Jane stalking, and didn't fear for a second that I was in any danger. Crying shame.

It does make you wonder, with my own struggles to find my targets; if it's this difficult to track someone in NYC, how much action is going on in this game?

Boy was I wrong. Turns out there are 12 kills on record already. And at least two of them using tactics I'd planned myself. I gotta step up the pace a little, no way am I gonna be left behind.

StreetWars: Day One - Night Run

5:30pm - I got a strange phone call. Well, more like a phone call from a number I didn't recognize (somewhat, more in a minute) where the person hung up on me. I was annoyed with myself because I usually don't answer outside calls with my name, but I was distracted and thought it was a friend's number. Near fatal mistake; now they know I'm still at work.

6:00pm - the phone rings again, again from the strange number. I don't answer it. I'd also gotten a call from this number around lunch time, but didn't answer it. I did call it back, and a woman answered it. She seemed to be the receptionist, and this was a general line; she has no way to know who called.

6:05pm - the phone rings again. Guess who?

6:10pm - phone rings, only it's one of my company's receptionists. I don't pick up and it stops after 2 rings; mistake, or did the outside caller hang up? Hmmm?

6:13pm - phone rings, and guess what - it's a TRANSFER, from an outside line, to mine. Getting kind of obvious there, folks.

6:20pm - I decide it's safe to go downstairs. I stop in the lobby and lean up against one wall, pretending to listen to my telephone messages but really I'm looking at one of the entrances, and scoping out the lobby. There's a couple in the lobby making cell phone calls, but no one else. They look suspicious, and my spidey sense starts tingling even more when they decide - as I'm leaving - that they didn't need to wait for whomever it was they were waiting for, after all.

I won't go into details here, but I've got a whole escape route planned out. The block my company sits on is a safe zone; as long as I don't leave it, they can't shoot me. They also can't shoot me if I'm at a bus stop/on a bus, or in the subway. There are two different subway entrances, for two different trains, connected to my block.

There are also key bus stop locations scattered within a minute, maximum, walk from each other. I felt like a bugs bunny cartoon, darting from bus stop to train station to bus stop, with my watergun in hand.

I also have...secret passages, but I can't divulge that here. Just in the offchance someone may be reading this for info.

6:40pm - After a bus ride of a few minutes, I made it safely to my destination. I'm 90% certain no one followed me. I'm where I am as a favor for a friend, helping her out with...well. Never mind that. But it's to help show some coworkers a trick or two, let's leave it at that.

But as I'm getting there, I start to have some nagging doubts. This game is making me paranoid. I start to wonder: what if? What if SHE'S in the game? I already know one friend is in it, what if she is too? And she, by coincidence, drew me as an early target? What if she has a friend who's in the game, and happened to say "Oh my first target is Eric Trickster", and she said "Oh wow, he's a friend of mine - would you like me to help you kill him?"

I'm freaked as I arrive, my head jerking nervously from side to side. I show up, she's happy to see me - but I hold up my hand for her to keep her distance. "Now...", I ask; "...tell me the truth...is this a setup?"

She's confused. "what, like a date?" she asks. "No", I say; "like an assassination." She looks confused, I pull a watergun on her from behind my back. She's amused, but a little freaked. I'm convinced, she's legit, so I explain my own craziness. Sheesh.

8:00pm - I'm done, and as it happens one of my targets lives nearby. John Westside. It's a good opportunity for me to stake out his neighborhood; the area's a lot more confined, and yet there aren't too many opportunities to blend in for me. I'll have to get creative on this one. Good thing, at least, there doesn't appear to be a back door that he has access to. I emphasize "has access to", because the sign clearly states that residents should use the other entrance on blah blah blah. Of course, it says nothing about using the other EXIT, unless there's such a sign on the INSIDE of the door.

10:30pm - I'm done with my other gig, and now it's time to head home. I'm torn as to what train I should take, and what exit I should take when I leave the station. Like I said, I've got a lot of options. But in the end, I decide to take my regular route. With a slight modification, of course - I'm not stupid.

Walking home, I use another couple as a shield of sorts, keeping them at a distance ahead of me to flush out any potential assassins who might be lurking. I get a scare when a slow moving car moves just a liiiiiittttle too close to me, but they're just looking for parking. I had my soaker ready at the hip, just in case.

I cut a wide angle to survey the entire entranceway, making sure it's clear - then sprint to the finish. My plan is to keep the double door shut with one foot, open the inner door and slam it home if anyone tries the bum rush. No one does.

In the lobby I inspect every nook and cranny, spraying corners. I take a back route to my apartment, making sure no one is hiding behind doors on incinerator closets. Hey, I'd do it.

11:30 - home, safe at last. See you in the morning!

StreetWars: Day One - Research

7:15am - okay, so I was supposed to have gotten up an hour earlier and stake out my target at home. It's a Monday, I'm lazy, you get the picture. Zzzzzz.

8:00am - Caught up on sleep, turned on the television and flipped to the building's security camera channel. Yeah, that's right - cameras at strategic locations, right there for my viewing pleasure. I kept it on while I got ready for work, eyeballing anyone around the building with suspicion.

9:05am - ready to go. I'm a little earlier than normal, but I figure unless someone takes off from work they won't be stalking me at home; I'm just too damn far uptown to make it easy. Still, no sense taking chances. I've got two guns in the gym bag, one in the jacket pocket, and one in hand when I leave the apartment. I'm also not taking the "direct route" outside the building, luckily I have more than one option. Plus two different trains I can take, neither in the same direction, and multiple routes and entrances for each. I'm still paranoid as hell as I walk to the station, aiming my pistol around every corner.

9:35am - at my work station, and I have two moments of sudden insight. One: don't leave a watergun in your pocket, it leaks. I don't think people will believe you when you stand up and there's a water stain down your pants. Of course, since it's on the side of my pants I can just shrug, grin and say "yeah, it IS that big!" Two: it is probably a bad, bad idea to pull out a watergun in a place where there are a contingent of cops. I may have to get some yellow electrical tape to wrap my blue and silver watergun with, just in case.

I did a little research, trying to see if I could find out more about my targets. Google is a wonderful, wonderful thing. John Westside is surprisingly available on the web. I've got a nice fat dossier on him so far: description of his building, some of his extracurricular interests; I may even have found a much better photo of him and his girlfriend. All that's told me one thing: he's going to be hard as hell to get. He lives in a luxury condo in a landmark area, which means there's no way I'm getting inside. He's an athlete, but does he exercise outside or use his building's built in gym? He could walk to work, or - does he drive the 12 blocks? There are so many subway options he could take, it staggers the mind. I'm betting on one route in particular, but I'm concerned about staking out his building. I'll need to check out his building in person before I can come up with a solution.

Jane Eastside, by comparison, is a virtual non-entity in the digital world. That's fine, no problem - so I spent my lunch hour checking out her neighborhood. There's a lot of possibilities there; an Associated supermarket around the corner, a Starbucks a block away, a crosstown bus line that takes her directly from home to work, east to west. There's even construction going on across the street from her building, a perfect place for a potential stalker to hide out.

So what's the problem? She lives...well, it's near yet another NY icon. And there are cops, EVERYWHERE. I gotta tell you, a black man stalking an east side building in the dark with a gun-shaped object...not high on my list of "smart things to do". But I'm gonna do it anyway, because I'm retarded that way. If you read about me on the news being shot 20 times by a rookie cop, refer back to this blog.

I don't know as much about Jane, but if I can spot her I can stalk her. John, I feel like I know already - but he's less accessible. I'm thinking, get John at work, get Jane at home.

One of them gets stalked tomorrow morning. Tonight, I've got plans. And I'm avoiding my own stalker :)

BTW: after a sudden insight of my own, I locked down my Myspace profile. Can't have people getting too much information, now can I? :)