Tuesday, June 14, 2005

McCapucucchio Anyone?

And you were afraid of too many Starbucks?

McDonald's (my favorite place!) announced, along with the opening of their flagship store in Illinois, the first of many McCafe's. Mc. Cafe.

According to a press release from McDonald's Chicago regional office, the McCafe -- which opened in downtown Chicago this past May -- serves "high-end cakes and pastries, gourmet coffee ... premium teas ... Viva Tiramisu [and] New York Style Cheesecake. ... Food and beverages will be served in fine china along with stainless steel flat ware. The warm decor consists of leather couches, chairs and bistro style tables with accents of mahogany, granite, lace curtains and French vintage posters."

Now...I like my coffee. And I fully admit to being a patron of coffee houses. I can tell you where to find any Starbucks within a 10-block radius of any point in midtown manhattan.

But.

Do I WANT to sit under the golden arches with my laptop and a cup o'mcjoe? Do I want to listen to the soothing sounds of the latest disney pop group broadcast through tinny speakers while McKids romp and play on a multicolored virtual jungle gym beside me?

Do I want to order a McFrap? Will they ask me if I'd like an apple pie with my McMocha? Can I supersize an espresso? Maybe I'll try something off the dollar menu.

Who, exactly, is the target audience for a McCafe? I like plugging into an outlet at the Starbucks on Astor because I'm surrounded by fellow bohemians. There's a certain comraderie to it, you can feel the creative juices flowing in the air around you.

Can you picture the Upper West Side highschoolers you'd find yapping about their latest crush/obsession, and loudly so, in a McCafe? I bet there'll be a tie-in with Virgin, with those music vending machines all over the place too. You just KNOW there'll be some kid-friendly area where the rugrats can go and surf the AOL-web on brightly colored computers with oversized keyboards, sipping on a McFlurrydrink and noshing on a fat-free cookie...

*shudder*

I'm convinced McDonalds is the antichrist. I'm starting my own religion, and my version of hell will be in a McCafe.

No comments: