Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Neoprene Man

Neoprene Man

So, I've been wearing a neoprene thigh brace for the past 3 weeks to help a pulled hamstring heal.

Now, the gag here is that my volleyball teammates have gotten so used to seeing me play injured that when I show up and actually put on a brace, they ask "what happened, are you hurt?" - even though I've been limping around the court for the last 2+ weeks. I wear a thigh brace, knee braces, and ankle braces. I'm surprised I'm not wearing elbow braces, but give me time - I'm sure I'll find a way to injure at least one.

What's my point? I play hard, probably dangerously hard and I'm certain I'll pay for this in my old age. Or will I?

I'm 36 years old, and the old bones and joints aren't as flexible as they used to be. Still, I'm on the court and I see these guys 5, 10 years younger than me playing like they're 5, 10 years older than me and wonder...is it me? I have friends I've known for 15, 20 years and they act the way I thought 40-50 year olds act. They complain about creaky knees, achy joints, gouty feet...they go to bed at 8, and worry about playing any kind of sport because they won't be able to get out of bed the next morning.

Shit. They're old. So what the fuck is wrong with me?

One friend has ribbed me for years, because before and after whatever sport du jour we played I'd pop an ibuprofin pill or two, rub some ointment on a knee or calf, or struggle with some brace or another. "I'll kill myself before I use that stuff", he'd boast.

Then the next day I'll buzz him to come out for another game, and he can't even reach for the phone because his knees are hurting so badly.

To paraphrase the immortal Dr. King, I have a dream. One day I'll be 80, standing at the top of some mountain. I may have let my hair grow out, and be this sinewy, sun-tanned old guy with silver dreds in a snowsuit. I'll be the one showing my grandkids how to snowboard, while their parents complain about the cold while sipping hot toddies in the ski lodge.

And underneath all that snow gear, I'll be wearing a neoprene bodysuit.

I may be old...but I ain't stupid. And I'm still playing the game like kids half my age

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