Arrogance

March 3, 2005 - Thursday

Arrogance

Yes, I can be an arrogant son-of-a-bitch.

Why deny it, right? "I yam what I yams, a-yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk!" When you're a Capricorn solar sign and Monkey lunar sign, there isn't much room for modesty. I do try to curb it, but I have my moments.

For example, I have a baaaaad tendency to do it at work. I'll have a call my name with that hanging question mark at the end as if they're about to ask me something, I automatically reply "No" without ever having heard the question.

"No? But you don't even know what I was going to ask you to do!"

"Yeah but if I start you off with a No, you won't feel so bad when I confirm it later."

Or my catch phrase, which I should trademark:

"I'm never wrong. The rest of the world just hasn't come around to my way of thinking yet."

Here's a perfect example. A friend's girlfriend called him while a group of us were having dinner, and I could tell he was getting the treatment - so I asked for the phone and ask her what the problem is. She tells me she has a cold, so he should feel guilty for being out having fun while she's home feeling sick.

I told her, of course jokingly: "Well really he's doing you a favor. If he comes home you'll annoy him, he'll be pissed, you'll get pissed because he's pissed, and end up in a worse mood than you're in. So by him staying out he's actually helping you feel better."

She gets upset, yells (!) at me to "stop trying that reverse psychology shit" on her.

I got pissed back. "This isn't reverse psychology, this is circular logic. I know you don't know the difference but spend some time, think about it and when your brain stops hurting - come back to me."

I know, cruel - but I hate seeing a man whipped like a dog. Unless the man is me. And the woman doing the whipping has an actual whip, and high leather boots on. Oooo, and...never mind. You get the idea.

So where'd this all come about? I happened to glance at my horoscope today, and this is what it said:

Someone's mumbling, and from the rumble of their voice, it sounds like fighting words. You'd recognize them anywhere, and you're not at all intimidated. In fact, you're already thinking about how to apologize once the debate's over, because you know you're going to win. You probably even know how many sentences it will take to completely befuddle the opponent. Get over the guilt thing. It's not your fault you're better equipped than they are to handle this -- and just about everything else.

See? Even the stars get it. I am absolved of all guilt. Assuming I actually ever felt any. .

All your bases belong to us.