Just Do It

True story, this.

I got on the subway tonight, somewhat tired - had a volleyball game, like usual. I had the headphones on, and I've got a Sony model with the silcon earbuds that block out most exterior noise. It's like putting your head underwater and listening to the world around you.

Anyway, so I'm on the train, listening to music, when I notice the people sitting down in front of me are talking about someone else in the car. They're pointedly gesturing towards the seats behind me, so I glance back. There's someone on one of the corner seats, sitting alone, slumped over and out cold. Not unusual, had this been a Friday or Saturday night - but for a Monday, it's a little odd.

I pop an earphone so I can listen to the chatter, and of course they're speaking Spanglish so I haven't a clue - but I'm good at reading conversations, and it's pretty obvious that all these people in this half of the car are worried as to whether or not this person is just unconscious....or worse.

Yeah.

I'm looking around, and apparently the whole half of the car is in on this. They're all looking, shrugging, gesturing, obviously concerned - but doing so from the safety of their seats.

I'm...annoyed now. Disgusted. I look at them like "just HOW long have you been sitting there talking about it?", shake my head and just say "Oh fuck this". I mean really people, this is stupid. And I walk over to the passed out person, and tap their shoulder.

Nada.

I tap again. Nothing.

This time I give a shake. Nothing. Now I'm thinking, "oh shit", and lean down for a better look. I reach my hand over to the neck, cuz now I'm thinking I should look for a pulse. The person is a little androngynous, but I can see now it's a girl so I give her one last hard shake on the shoulder.

She pops her head up, eyes sleepy, looking around like "whaaaa...?"

Behind me, I hear a collective sigh and nervous laughter. A whole goddamned car of people were watching me, nervous like the chickenshit fucks they are.

I shouldn't be mad, but I am. This is why shit happens in this city, because good people do nothing when their moment comes. What if that person really had passed out, needed help? What if the EMTs came, and said if only someone had stopped the train a few minutes earlier, contacted them sooner - maybe they could have helped her, saved her life.

People don't want to get involved; they care, but they don't want to be the one to discover the body. These are the people who can smell the strange odor coming out of the old woman's apartment, but who are too afraid of what they might find to go and knock on the door. These are the people who see the man stumble and fall in a drunken swoon, but don't stop to make sure that he's conscious and okay.

I'm not a saint, far from it. If and when there's a rapture, I'll be here waiting for the apocalypse with all the other hellions. When we're down in the abyss, I'm expecting to get VIP seating at the front of the queue.

But I do care about people, maybe more than I should. And if I'm ever the one you see passed out on the subway...do me a favor. Poke me.

I'd rather be disturbed from a sleep than left to die.