Movie Review: The Protector

When "Ong Bak" came out a year or so ago, my commentary then was that Tony Jaa has the makings of a martial arts star if he could only get into a movie with a script, a budget, and a director.

It still hasn't happened.

The story around the Protector is simple: Jaa plays the son of an elephant breeder who's prize bull elephant (and calf) are kidnapped and taken to Australia. Jaa takes his job very seriously, apparently, and follows them - despite not speaking a lick of English - where he finds himself embroiled in the seedy criminal underground of the Thai community down under.

Jaa is an explosive fighter, all flying knees and elbows in a style that makes Steven Segal look like he's standing still. Oh wait, he does stand still - but you get my point. You will believe a man can fly, if only for short distances. He climbs walls faster than Jackie Chan, and fires off punches and kicks to rival Jet Li.

So why does his movies seem to suck so badly?

Jaa, unfortunately, has no screen presence; he's angry, always, even when the hot girlfriend of the criminal underboss brings him to her apartment he somehow can't manage to get rid of his perpetual scowl. He hates the world, it seems, and can't understand anyone or anything - so rather than try to think his way through something he's a bull in a china shop, knocking aside anything in his way.

The criminals never seem to run out of lackeys to throw at him; I think the only other movie where I've seen so many bodies flying to the ground was Kill Bill. This would be fun to watch if those baddies could actually fight; instead they're fodder for the slaughter, living punching bags with no other purpose than to slightly slow his advance and give him an excuse to bounce off walls.

The movies plays like a video game as Jaa advances up the ranks, fighting tougher and tougher opponents. There's a scene in a burning buddhist temple (incidently, I blinked and suddenly this scene appeared from absolutely nowhere) where he fights several different martial artists of differing styles, and it's fun to watch.

Here's the problem: when the bad guy looks more interesting to watch than the hero, it's time to reconsider things. The brazilian capoeria fighter came across like a much better fighter than Jaa, and will probably make a name for himself eventually; the ends of Jaa's fights are contrived, and almost illogical.

I also have to wonder: are there really so many Thai news announcers in Australia?

Jaa has potential, I do believe that. Eventually he'll make his way into a Hollywood big budget flick, learn how to smile occasionally, and maybe even let the bad guys get in a punch or two.

The Trickster gives The Protector a measly 2 bananas out of 5.