iLead iUs Not Into iTemptation

Steve Jobs...I hate you. I do.

It's nothing personal. It's just that I firmly believe that you are Beezelbub, here to tempt the world with your overpriced, artsy-but-limited devices. I've argued against your evil iSpawn, since the advent of the first Macintosh, all to no avail. "But you can get an mp3 player that'll play the basic mp3 format, with more features, for less money!" -- "...yeah, but it isn't cute!"

Lemmings. You sell to lemmings, you iBastard.

I've resisted your iPods, although I admit there are times when I've wavered. Thank the cybergods my faith in open-end technology is so strong, or I'd have succumbed to your wiles years ago. The nano, in black, was a powerful force - but I stood strong in my resolve.

Only now...there are rumors. I'd heard already that Apple had filed a patent for touch screen technology, giving rise to speculation of a new Powerbook, maybe in tablet form.

Whatever. *Yawn*.

But suddenly the word on the fiber optic street is...it's a new iPod. The design is that there's a DIGITAL scroll wheel, coded onto the touch screen. When you touch the screen the wheel appears and you can navigate your playlists and songs. After a second or two of non-use, the wheel vanishes.

And it could arrive before this summer.

Damn you, Satan-Jobs. Damn you to iHell.