Thursday, July 31, 2008

But Will She Do Windows?

As I've pointed out in previous posts, the sex-bot-for-sale is not that far off into the future. Well, as it happens...it may be closer than I thought.

WowWee, the company who brought us the Robotdog, the Roboraptor, and the Robosapien toy line has now introduced...

The Femisapien.

Their name, not mine.

This robot "toy" is, of course, interactive. As their video shows, you can teach the Femisapien to do all kinds of neat tricks. Now, what interested me the most about this video wasn't so much the fact that Jamie Sommers may have her nightmare come to life again (it's a Fembot joke, for the kiddies out there) - but the language in the instructional video. It's...disturbing, when taken out of context. As I'm about to.

As they demonstrate how to get Femisapien to operate, they narrate the following - and I'm taking down the text verbatim, word for word:

First, put her in learning mode by tilting her head downwards. Then show her what you want her to do by gently moving her limbs.

I've seen this video, I think it was called "Daddy Does The Babysitter", or somesuch.

Tapping her once on the head makes her go back to the default position. When you're done, simply tilt her head upwards out of learning mode to finish.

Okay baby, that's enough now, I don't want to blow my load too soon...

The hand gesture interface is a great, easily remembered shorthand to make Femisapien do her most commonly used functions.

*SLAP!* B*tch, didn't I tell you to have my dinner ready when I got home?!

Femisapien has a rich library of other movements and behaviors. The secret to accessing this library is a four-point joystick interface.

Oh yeah, you like this don't you! Don't you!

You wouldn't know it just to look at her, but inside of each of Femisapiens stylishly tipped hands is a small joystick that can move in four directions: forwards, backwards, inwards [!] and outwards.

*.....bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....*

I'll press her left hand inwards. Watch as the LED mounted over her wrist lights up when I do so. This means, she has felt The Touch.

Hahahahah I swear, I'm not making this stuff up!

There isn't time in this video to show you all of her cool behaviors and tricks, but there are some that are too much fun to leave out.

Coming Soon: Femispapiens Gone Wild II, Silicon Valley

You can watch the entire video in-context, here:

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