Blaine, Blaine, Go A-Way...

Are you all as sick of David Blaine as I am?

Yeah that's right, I went there. Somebody has to say it. What does this man do, exactly, that lets him invade our space like he does? He isn't a magician. He isn't a stuntman. He's an exhibitionist, definitely that - but is he even entertaining us?

I admit to being one of the fools a few years back who were intrigued by him. His street magician act was filled with little oohs and ahhs, and he was genuinely fun to watch. I was there when he did his standing-on-a-pole act, where for 35 hours he stood on a 22inch platform atop a 90ft pole.

And at the end of it, after he plunged into a pile of empty cardboard boxes, I asked myself...why?

Why was this even interesting? Is it the rubber-neck syndrome, that we as humans are completely unable to tear ourselves away from anything remotely resembling a train wreck? There was no magic to his act, no skill; his leg was strapped into a boot, strapped to the platform! Where's the ooh factor? When he fell?

And now the latest, his water-sphere act. And they are acts, I won't call them stunts at all. Tests of human endurance, certainly; pointless, absolutely. There's no drama, there's no tension. The man lived in a water-filled bubble for days, big whoop. It was no more than a 10 minute WALK from my job to his bubble-headed act, and I had no desire to gawk at him. None.

David. Newsflash. We're really only watching - IF we're watching - because we're hoping to see you screw up. Trip, stumble, drown - something so that at the end of it all, we can nod our heads sagely and say:

"Moron."