Monday, May 22, 2006

Triteness, Cubed

Unless you've been living in a circular cave lately, you're probably aware that Apple has opened it's new "flagship" store here in New York, on Fifth Avenue. It was, typically, a quasi-celebrity event (I saw video with James Woods bragging about his Apple-ownership, and Kevin Bacon trying not to look bored).

I want to say that the glass cube, resting on the surface with the actual store lying submerged beneath the concrete, is meant to evoke the same sense of awe as the Louvre, with it's glass pyramid standing as entranceway to the museum below and around it (yes, Virginia, there IS a correlation).

What I can't help but think, however, is - as I look at this gigantic crystalline glacier of commercialism...

Resistance is futile.

It's a Borg cube, I swear it is. I've been saying from the beginning that Apple is the Borg, and now they've gone and proved it. But will people listen to me? Noooo, they all flocked to this store like it was the Second Coming of Christ, just to touch - TOUCH - the same Apple products they could get at CompUSA.

It's a store, people. Just a store. There's no Sistene Chapel here, no mystery to unravel. It's a store, with the same products you can buy online.

(Btw, I'm rather proud of all the subtle DaVinci Code allusions I've made here. I should be getting advertising revenue from this. Because I'm such a marketing whore.)

Really, I just think Apple should be perfectly honest in their advertising. People will still buy their products.

Apple. You WILL be assimilated.

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